Monday, February 1, 2016

WEIGHT LOSS UPDATE - I LOVE JANUARY

So i am sitting here it is Jan 31st and i just can’t contain my joy, not only is it my sisters’ birthday today, (happy birthday my yellow paw paw love you), It is also a testament to the fact that 31 days ago i was a totally different person. I have somehow found my joy again all by MYSELF.

A few days ago, i was going through my phone and i saw a picture i had taken on January 1st. i was crying in that picture. now i look at it is a constant reminder of where i am coming from, that picture looks so odd but i am so happy that i took it, it is a reminder of everything i never ever want to be or feel again. This is not just weight loss related but in every single aspect of my life. Joy really does come in the morning.

I was supposed to update this blog every week. i actually did write a post every week and intended to post it, but i just wasn’t feeling it at all. every time i wrote, i felt like it was forced so I didn’t post it. i apologies because i know ALOT of you have been waiting for an update.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

JOY COMES IN THE MORNING

Hey Guys,

I want to first up say thank you to everybody who read my last post and reached out to me. The love was absolutely appreciated. I read everyone of your messages. Every single one and I just want to say thank you.

I am in a much better place now I promise. I was inspired to reach out to someone, anyone, letting them know that they are not alone and i am glad it served its purpose. Like I said the only way from down is up. knowing that my team ( you guys ) want me to win so bad, I got no other choice but to win. Once again thank you so much your support is not taken for granted.

I really did read every single one of your messages and while i connected with everyone of them in one special way or another and was going to write something down when i came across this ladies blog she posted a video "Life; keep space" and i decided to share that instead.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

I AM FAT AGAIN, WHAT NEXT?


Has anyone listened to this song " the broken beautiful"by Ellie Holcomb? You all should download it's a really beautiful song.

One of the lines in the chorus says 

"You will take broken things and make them beautiful, you took my shame and walked out of the grave. Your love takes broken things and make them beautiful".

I need all the courage I can to write this post. So i left that song to sit on repeat while I kept typing. I hope I post this one this time because a lot have been written and deleted because and if I do we will dedicate this one to Ellie Holcomb. 

Let's start from the very beginning. I started my weight loss journey back in 2013 I didn't know what i was doing. I just knew that I wanted to loose weight. one year down and about 150 pounds later, I was loving my entire life and feeling like a champion. 

Fast forward 2015, I put on back all of the weight I lost and some more. yes I said and some more...Welp. I tried everything in 2015 everything .. I struggled and struggled and one day, I just threw in the towel. I remember sometime in October I told my sister I didn't think i would make it to the new year and she shut that down really quickly. That's just to tell u how bad things got.

I started to envy the dead. I actually opened my mouth and said the dead were free from the troubles of this world. 

The devil really tried it with me in 2015. Guess what? I am here so that goes to tell me ALOT about myself. I am a survivor. Those who smile the widest hurt the deepest. 

The more things deteriorated, the more I cried and ate and slept and cried some more . 2015 was such a shit shit shit year ..like if I had the opportunity to erase the last 365 days by some miracle process I definitely will lie down and let them get it over with.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

LETS BE HONEST

It is 1.38 am. I am lying in bed watching this show called casual. Not the best show to be honest, so don't even bother wasting your time with it. Although it inspired this post I'll give it 1 star for that.

So, this scene comes on about this guy who created a dating website. He gets interviewed by this somewhat plus size journalist who he ends up sleeping with.
Fast forward to the morning after and this guy tells the lady, and I quote,  "I have never slept with someone who I am NOT attracted to, but because of their character. Thank you". LMAO

She goes on to write an exposé, trashing this guys dating site which in turn sets him up for financial ruin. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, really.

As someone who decided to try the online dating thing, I Would say it was an eye opening experience. I may or may not blog about my experience here.we 'll see. Lool.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

BEFORE THE CLOCK STRIKES MIDNIGHT


December 27th 2015, I happily hummed up the stairs thinking in my head that I wasn't going anywhere the following day, I was off work and I was going to sleep all day. Boy was I wrong !

i live in Canada, Calgary to be specific and the weather outside is frightful.

As I proceeded to my room, my mum goes on and informs me that I will be having to take them-my dad inclusive to run some errands. Pfffft . I rolled my eyes until I could see my brain follicles and said ok. The bible says honour your parents so that your days will be long. Listen, you will honour my own parents wether the bible says it or NOT because your days will be cut short, my mother will make sure of that. She brought us into this world and she can take us out she tells us that all the time. 

Morning came, I kissed my bed good bye, because that's my baby and I spend half of my life on her doing absolutely nothing. my bed is bae. we share a special bond that i just cant explain.

As an optimist, I go full on thinking it will be at most an hour of my life time taken away from me, I could live with that. We get to our destination and my mum informs me that We were in the wrong building this is after i had managed to get a parking spot in the mist of all the madness. Let me give you the low down of what's going on outside.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

JEALOUSY - WHAT YOU FEED WILL GROW.

                                                                            
Hello people of God. How is everybody doing? My ratchet self is fine and in a really good mood today.

My life has been a roller coaster of events for the last few weeks and i am not complaining. Woke up this morning loving on myself.

Anyway today am going to speak on jealousy.  That feeling of oohh bleeh here she goes again because she has lost some weight she is not going to let us here word? Does that sound familiar? Well am going to be honest. Yes it does sound familiar, it happens to the best of us.


Monday, March 2, 2015

FALLING BACK IN LOVE


Hey guys,

When initially I thought about writing this post, I was running on this bubble of energy and was feeling feeling myself. As at this very moment I am energy drained and tired .loool

Happy new month by the way. February was such a great month for me I fell right back in love with fitness, not going to lie that there where days when I was like lord lordy lord I just want to go home and sleep after work.